I seem to have a problem with phone sex at times. Actually, it's not just phone sex. It's any time when I'm the center of attention, but I'm the only one who gets off.
Because of how things go at times, I'm talking with one of my lovers on the phone and getting dirty. I'm alone in my bed or the computer room and touching myself. I may have a toy with me, or I may be just using my fingers on my clit and dipping into my pussy. Within the discussion, whether he's telling me what to do and how and when to do it, or if he's just teasing me with what he could be doing with me and what I'd be doing with him... I can have an orgasm (or several), even pretty spectacular ones.
It's even happened when I'm with someone, and we're making out and he has a hand down my panties and is caressing my clit, whispering in my ear while his other hand tweaks my nipple.
But my lover can't touch himself. He's in the car, or otherwise in a position where he can't "take matters into his own hands." If we're actually together, it's a stolen moment before we have to get back to the rest of our lives (namely a wife for him and/or a fiance for me).
It just seems wrong to be the only one having the pleasure... it makes me feel like I've used my partner.
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Funny, I can be there while he gets off and I don't and I do not feel cheated.
This happens with my fiance on a regular basis when I'm over-tired and can't get the blood going, but he's there with an erection that just wants to play. I touch him as he touches himself and sometimes even dominate him just that little bit which pleases him and gives me a little glow at pleasing him and controlling him.
This one sided-ness doesn't end up happening with my fiance much at all, just my other lovers. Marnen and I are not usually engaging in phone sex because he's home and I'm home and well... You don't need phone sex when you have the night together. Even at times when he's away for days, if we get the chance for phone sex he's in a hotel room alone and I'm alone too.
Recently, I have been avoiding phone sex because I know that it's hard to set it up so we're both able to come.
I need to hear his voice. I need to hear the commands and the teasing. I also need to hear his voice betray those signals of passion and his gasp and groan as he goes over the edge too.
My experience isn't set until he comes too. Which is actually true during sex as I think about it- in a way, things seem unfinished and my body doesn't shut off and go into the "ok, I'm done for now" state unless my partner has had an orgasm.
I think it's been mentioned as a possible real punishment to get me off and not let me bring the punisher to his completion.
[Note, in this I will keep saying "he", mainly because I don't have any lady lovers right now and I don't know what dynamic I'd have with one on stuff like this.]
3 comments:
I know the feeling, but sometimes that is how it has to be! The way I see it, when someone you love gets pleasure, that too is pleasure for you!
Interesting. Has the issue of not both being able to come been a problem when you and I have had phone sex? I had not thought so.
And I occasionally have the same feeling as you do if I'm the only one who gets off. "Occassionally" because that doesn't happen all that often, I think...
With a mindset like that, Jaenelle, you must be a fantastic lover! (I knew you would be!)
I can't see how the dynamic between two women having phone sex would be much different than with a hetero couple. I find it difficult to have phone sex with anyone if they can't fully participate in the festivities.
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